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QUOTES AND JOKES


We at D&M recognize that the daily grind of dentistry is very very stressful. So, we decided to add a Quotes and Jokes Page to our web site to bring a bit of humor, levity and knowledge into your life. We hope that this page makes you smile, and helps you to lighten up just a bit............

We thought we would share with you a daily thought or inspiration so that you could start you day off with a positive thought. We will plan to do a daily post every work day.  Enjoy!

ENJOY!!

P.S. If you have a dental joke or a neat Quote please pass it along to us at DRPAULDMD@SBCGLOBAL.NET and we'll add it! TXS.

February 16th, 2018

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle

February 15th, 2018 

"Things may come to thsoe who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." - Abraham Lincoln

February 14th, 2018
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing.

February 13th, 2018

"If a man is called a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and Earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.'" - Martin Luther King Jr.

February 12th, 2018

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." - Francis of Assisi

February 8th, 2018

"Often forgotten, the tongue plays an important role in reducing bad breath. Don't forget to clean your tongue!" - 1 800 Dentist

February 6th, 2018

"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning." - Bill Gates

February 5th, 2018 

"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." - George Washington

February 2nd, 2018

"Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter."
Dentist Comedy Sketch

February 1st, 2018

"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." - Winston Churchill

January 29th, 2018

"What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A CAT-ASTROPHE" - Buzzfeed

January 25th, 2018

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear. - Bored Panda

January 23rd, 2018

"All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness." - Mark Kennedy

January 19th, 2018

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." - Robert Louis Stevenson

January 18th, 2018

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead." - Oscar Wilde

January 17th, 2018

"I am a slow walker, but I never walk back." - Abraham Lincoln

January 12th, 2018

"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today." - Abraham Lincoln

January 11th, 2018

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln

January 10th, 2018

"You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." - Abraham Lincoln

January 9th, 2018

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

January 8th, 2018

"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose." - Bill Gates

January 5th, 2018

“Big companies have small moves, small companies have big moves.” - Peter Lynch

January 3rd, 2018

"It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked." - Warren Buffett

January 2nd, 2018

"We simply attempt to be fearful when others are greedy and to be greedy only when others are fearful." - Warren Buffett

December 27th, 2017

"If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way." - Napoleon Hill

December 26th, 2017

"Everyone smiles in the same language."

December 11th, 2017
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” - Mark Twain

December 8th, 2017 

The idea is fairly simple. Any time I feel a slight conflict about a decision or an action, I take a moment to ask myself the following three questions:

How will I feel about it in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about it in 10 months?
How will I feel about it in 10 years?

“If you aren’t willing to own a stock for 10 years, don’t even think about owning it for 10 minutes.” - Warren Buffet

December 5th, 2017

Bob: What do you call a dentist’s advice?
Bobby: Not sure.
Bob: His fl ossophy.

December 4th, 2017 

Josh: Why did the king go to the dentist?
Scott: Beats me.
Josh: To get his teeth crowned!

November 30th, 2017 "True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less." - C.S. Lewis

November 29th, 2017 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

November 28th, 2017 “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
- Dr. Seuss

November 27th, 2017 “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss

November 16th, 2017 "Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." - Dr. Seuss

November 10th, 2017 "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller

May 28, 2012 If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves. - Thomas Edison

May 25, 2012 Live for something. Do good, and leave behind you a monument of virtue that the storms of time can never destroy. Write your name in kindness, love, and mercy on the hearts of thousands you come in contact with year by year, and you will never be forgotten. Your name and your good deeds will shine as stars in heaven. - Thomas Chalmers

May 24, 2012 The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. - Alan Watts

May 23, 2012 Arrange whatever pieces come your way.  - Virginia Woolf

May 22, 2012 Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. - Demosthenes

May 21, 2012 The effects of kindness are not always seen immediately. Sometimes it takes years until your kindness will pay off, and is returned to you. And sometimes you never see the fruits of your labors, but they are there, deep inside of the soul of the one you touched.  - Dan Kelly


"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence."   Confucius 

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."  Christopher Reeve

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change, the Realist adjusts the sails."  Unknown

AUGUST, 2015
Q. What is a Dentist's favorite musical instrument?

A. A tuba toothpaste!

NEW TECHNIQUE FOR EXTRACTING A TOOTH

The Dental Schools across the Land are now teaching a new Oral Surgery technique for extracting kids teeth. Watch and learn. Press play for a repeat demonstration.

AUGUST, 2010
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. 

JANUARY, 2010

HERE'S A HOLIDAY JOKE JUST A WEE BIT LATE:

This guy goes into his dentist's office, because of pain in his mouth. 

After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly 
completely corroded!  What on earth have you been eating?" 

"Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it...Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS!  I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything...meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!" 

"That's probably it," replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive.  It seems as though I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time." 

"Why chrome?" the man asked. 

"Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!" 

So "Happy Hollandaise" everybody!

OCTOBER, 2009
Q.  WHAT DO YOU CALL AN OLDER DENTIST?

A.  A BIT LONG IN THE TOOTH.

JULY, 2009
Q. WHAT IS A DENTIST'S FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY?

A. TOOTH-HURTY

OCTOBER, 2008
THREE GOOD REASONS TO BECOME A DENTIST:

1) FREE LATEX GLOVES.

2) STYLISH SCRUBS.

3) THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED ANY MORE LAWYERS.

AUGUST, 2008
Q. DEFINITION OF FESTER?

A. QUICKER.

MAY, 2008
Q.
DEFINITION OF RECOVERY- ROOM?

A. A PLACE TO DO RE-UPHOLSTERY.

NOVEMBER, 2007
Q.
DEFINITION OF POST OPERATIVE?

A. A LETTER CARRIER.

MAY, 2007
Q.
DEFINITION OF DILATE?

A. TO LIVE LONG.

APRIL, 2007
Q. DEFINITION OF BARIUM?

A. WHAT THE DOCTORS DO WHEN PATIENTS DIE.

MARCH,2007
Q.
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DENTIST AND A NEW YORK YANKEE FAN?

A. ONE YANKS FOR THE ROOTS, AND THE OTHER ROOTS FOR THE YANKS.

FEBRUARY, 2007
Q.
 HOW DOES A PATIENT KNOW HE'S IN AN HMO DENTAL OFFICE?

A.  WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE WALL AND SEES THAT ALL THE DENTAL DIPLOMAS ARE SIGNED BY SALLY STRUTHERS.

JANUARY, 2007
Q.
   WHAT DOES THE DENTIST OF THE YEAR GET?

A.    A LITTLE PLAQUE.

DECEMBER, 2006 
Q.
   WHY DID THE GURU REFUSE NOVOCAIN WHEN HE WENT TO THE DENTIST?

A.   HE WANTED TO TRANSCEND DENTAL MEDICATION.