We at D&M recognize that the daily grind of dentistry is very very stressful. So, we decided to add a Quotes and Jokes Page to our web site to bring a bit of humor, levity and knowledge into your life. We hope that this page makes you smile, and helps you to lighten up just a bit............
We thought we would share with you a daily thought or inspiration so that you could start you day off with a positive thought. We will plan to do a daily post every work day. Enjoy!
P.S. If you have a dental joke or a neat Quote please pass it along to us at DRPAULDMD@SBCGLOBAL.NET and we'll add it! TXS.
May 21st, 2018
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." - Mae West
May 14th, 2018
"The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had." - Eric Schmidt
May 10th, 2018
"A room without books is like a body without a soul." - Marcus Tullius Cicero
May 1st, 2018
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso
April 27th, 2018
"So many books, so little time." - Frank Zappa
April 24th, 2018
"We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge." - John Naisbitt
April 23rd, 2018
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
April 20th, 2018
"The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing." - Douglas Engelbart
April 19th, 2018
"Necessity... the mother of invention." - Plato
April 18th, 2018
"The Web provides a convenient and compelling supplement to personal memory - but when we start using the Web as a substitute for personal memory, by bypassing the inner processes of consolidation, we risk emptying our minds of their riches." - Nicholas Carr
April 17th, 2018
"The best investment on earth is earth." - Louis Glickman
April 16th, 2018
"If it isn't on Google, it doesn't exist." - Jimmy Wales
April 13th, 2018
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between
the lightning bug and the lightning." - Mark Twain
April 12th, 2018
"Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at. Make it fun to read. - Leo Burnett"
April 11th, 2018
"I have learned that any fool can write a bad ad, but that it takes a real genius to keep his hands off a good one." --Leo Burnett
April 10th, 2018
"If you don't own a home, buy one. If you own a home, buy another one. If you own two homes, buy a third." - John Paulson, Hedge Fund Manager and billionaire
April 6th, 2018
"Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking." - Bernard Baruch
April 4th, 2018
"The best time to buy a home is always five years ago." - Ray Brown
April 3rd, 2018
"Buy land, they aren't making it anymore." - Mark Twain
April 2nd, 2018
"Smiles are contagious. Go forth and contaminate as many people as you can!"
March 30th, 2018
"When wireless is perfectly applied the whole earth will be converted into a huge brain, which in fact it is, all things being particles of a real and rhythmic whole. We shall be able to communicate with one another instantly, irrespective of distance." - Nikola Tesla
March 29th, 2018
"There was a time when people felt the internet was another world, but now people realize it's a tool that we use in this world." - Tim Berners-Lee (Inventor of the World Wide Web)
March 28th, 2018
"Not Flossing" The equivalent of wiping your butt cheeks and skipping the crack.
March 27th, 2018
Dentist: When was the last time you flossed? Me: Bro, you were THERE."
March 23rd, 2018
"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." - Leo Tolstoy
March 22nd, 2018
"Dentists have their own flossify on how to keep teeth clean"
March 21st, 2018
"Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade"
March 16th, 2018
John has 32 Candy bars. Then he eats 18 candy bars. What does John have now? Answer: Cavities. John has cavities.
March 15th, 2018
"My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments." - Steven Wright (comedian)
March 14th, 2018
A little boy was taken to the dentist for his checkup. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would need to be filled.
“Now young man,”asked the dentist, “what kind of filling would you like for your tooth?”
The child replied “CHOCOLATE PLEASE” - Marianne T
March 12th, 2018
One tooth is speaking to another tooth:
Tooth A: "Wanna hear a funny joke?"
Tooth B: "Hold on, let me brace myself."
March 7th, 2018
"The depth of the love of parents for their children cannot be measured. It is like no other relationship. It exceeds concern for life itself. The love of a parent for a child is continuous and traanscends heartbreak and disappointment." - James E. Faust
March 1st, 2018
"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." - Billy Graham
February 27th, 2018
"A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone." - Billy Graham
February 26th, 2018
"Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened." - Billy Graham
February 16th, 2018
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle
February 15th, 2018
"Things may come to thsoe who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." - Abraham Lincoln
February 14th, 2018
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing.
February 13th, 2018
"If a man is called a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and Earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.'" - Martin Luther King Jr.
February 12th, 2018
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." - Francis of Assisi
February 8th, 2018
"Often forgotten, the tongue plays an important role in reducing bad breath. Don't forget to clean your tongue!" - 1 800 Dentist
February 6th, 2018
"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning." - Bill Gates
February 5th, 2018
"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." - George Washington
February 2nd, 2018
"Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter."
Dentist Comedy Sketch
February 1st, 2018
"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." - Winston Churchill
January 29th, 2018
"What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A CAT-ASTROPHE" - Buzzfeed
January 25th, 2018
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear. - Bored Panda
January 23rd, 2018
"All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness." - Mark Kennedy
January 19th, 2018
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." - Robert Louis Stevenson
January 18th, 2018
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead." - Oscar Wilde
January 17th, 2018
"I am a slow walker, but I never walk back." - Abraham Lincoln
January 12th, 2018
"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today." - Abraham Lincoln
January 11th, 2018
"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln
January 10th, 2018
"You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." - Abraham Lincoln
January 9th, 2018
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln
January 8th, 2018
"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose." - Bill Gates
January 5th, 2018
“Big companies have small moves, small companies have big moves.” - Peter Lynch
January 3rd, 2018
"It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked." - Warren Buffett
January 2nd, 2018
"We simply attempt to be fearful when others are greedy and to be greedy only when others are fearful." - Warren Buffett
December 27th, 2017
"If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way." - Napoleon Hill
December 26th, 2017
"Everyone smiles in the same language."
December 11th, 2017
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” - Mark Twain
December 8th, 2017
The idea is fairly simple. Any time I feel a slight conflict about a decision or an action, I take a moment to ask myself the following three questions:
How will I feel about it in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about it in 10 months?
How will I feel about it in 10 years?
“If you aren’t willing to own a stock for 10 years, don’t even think about owning it for 10 minutes.” - Warren Buffet
December 5th, 2017
Bob: What do you call a dentist’s advice?
Bobby: Not sure.
Bob: His fl ossophy.
December 4th, 2017
Josh: Why did the king go to the dentist?
Scott: Beats me.
Josh: To get his teeth crowned!
November 30th, 2017 "True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less." - C.S. Lewis
November 29th, 2017 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi
November 28th, 2017 “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
- Dr. Seuss
November 27th, 2017 “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss
November 16th, 2017 "Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." - Dr. Seuss
November 10th, 2017 "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller
May 28, 2012 If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves. - Thomas Edison
May 25, 2012 Live for something. Do good, and leave behind you a monument of virtue that the storms of time can never destroy. Write your name in kindness, love, and mercy on the hearts of thousands you come in contact with year by year, and you will never be forgotten. Your name and your good deeds will shine as stars in heaven. - Thomas Chalmers
May 24, 2012 The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. - Alan Watts
May 23, 2012 Arrange whatever pieces come your way. - Virginia Woolf
May 22, 2012 Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. - Demosthenes
May 21, 2012 The effects of kindness are not always seen immediately. Sometimes it takes years until your kindness will pay off, and is returned to you. And sometimes you never see the fruits of your labors, but they are there, deep inside of the soul of the one you touched. - Dan Kelly
"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence." Confucius
"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." Christopher Reeve
"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change, the Realist adjusts the sails." Unknown
Q. What is a Dentist's favorite musical instrument?
A. A tuba toothpaste!
NEW TECHNIQUE FOR EXTRACTING A TOOTH
The Dental Schools across the Land are now teaching a new Oral Surgery technique for extracting kids teeth. Watch and learn. Press play for a repeat demonstration.
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.
HERE'S A HOLIDAY JOKE JUST A WEE BIT LATE:
This guy goes into his dentist's office, because of pain in his mouth.
After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly
completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"
"Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it...Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything...meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!"
"That's probably it," replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as though I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time."
"Why chrome?" the man asked.
"Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
So "Happy Hollandaise" everybody!
Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL AN OLDER DENTIST?
A. A BIT LONG IN THE TOOTH.
Q. WHAT IS A DENTIST'S FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY?
THREE GOOD REASONS TO BECOME A DENTIST:
1) FREE LATEX GLOVES.
2) STYLISH SCRUBS.
3) THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED ANY MORE LAWYERS.
Q. DEFINITION OF FESTER?
Q. DEFINITION OF RECOVERY- ROOM?
A. A PLACE TO DO RE-UPHOLSTERY.
Q. DEFINITION OF POST OPERATIVE?
A. A LETTER CARRIER.
Q. DEFINITION OF DILATE?
A. TO LIVE LONG.
Q. DEFINITION OF BARIUM?
A. WHAT THE DOCTORS DO WHEN PATIENTS DIE.
Q. WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DENTIST AND A NEW YORK YANKEE FAN?
A. ONE YANKS FOR THE ROOTS, AND THE OTHER ROOTS FOR THE YANKS.
Q. HOW DOES A PATIENT KNOW HE'S IN AN HMO DENTAL OFFICE?
A. WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE WALL AND SEES THAT ALL THE DENTAL DIPLOMAS ARE SIGNED BY SALLY STRUTHERS.
Q. WHAT DOES THE DENTIST OF THE YEAR GET?
A. A LITTLE PLAQUE.
Q. WHY DID THE GURU REFUSE NOVOCAIN WHEN HE WENT TO THE DENTIST?
A. HE WANTED TO TRANSCEND DENTAL MEDICATION.